Bride's friends and family apply turmeric paste to her body as a part of Gaye Holud ceremony.Bengali wedding includes many rituals and ceremonies that can span several days. Although Muslim and Hindu marriages have their distinctive religious rituals, there are many common Bengali cultural rituals in weddings across both Bangladesh and Indian West Bengal.
Arranging the wedding
A traditional wedding is arranged by Ghotoks (matchmakers), who are generally friends or relatives of the couple. The matchmakers facilitate the introduction, and also help agree the amount of any settlement.
A traditional wedding is arranged by Ghotoks (matchmakers), who are generally friends or relatives of the couple. The matchmakers facilitate the introduction, and also help agree the amount of any settlement.
In Muslim marriages another settlement to make which is called Mahr or Kabin to be paid by the groom to the bride - which is a religious requirement in Muslim marriages.
Bengali weddings are traditionally in four parts:
- the bride's gaye holud,
- the groom's gaye holud,
- the wedding ceremony,
- the reception.
These often take place on separate days.
The first event in a wedding is an informal one:
the groom presents the bride with a ring marking the "engagement" which is gaining popularity. This can sometimes be considered as Ashirwaad.
There can be subtle differences in Hindu marriages in Bangladesh and West Bengal. The rituals sometimes differ. Even in West Bengal people who moved from Bangladesh during pre-independence time still follows the tradition that is followed in Bangladesh today.
There can be subtle differences in Hindu marriages in Bangladesh and West Bengal. The rituals sometimes differ. Even in West Bengal people who moved from Bangladesh during pre-independence time still follows the tradition that is followed in Bangladesh today.
A Bengali Hindu Marriage can be divided into the following parts:
Pre-wedding Rituals: Adan Pradan, Patri Patra, Ashirvad, Aai Budo Bhaat, Vridhi, Dodhi Mangal, Holud Kota, Adhibas Tatva, Kubi Patta, Snan, Sankha Porano.
Wedding Rituals: Bor Boron, Potto Bastra, Saat Paak, Mala Badal, Subho Drishti, Sampradan, Yagna, Saat Pak (couple), Anjali, Sindur Daan and Ghomta.
Post-Wedding Rituals: Bashar Ghar, Bashi Biye, Bidaye, Bou Boron, Kaal Ratri, Bou Bhaat, Phool Sajja, Dira Gaman.
Gaye holudBride's friends and family apply turmeric paste to her body as a part of Gaye Holud ceremony.
Gaye holud (Bengali: gaee holud lit. "yellow/turmeric on the body") or turmeric ceremony is a ceremony observed mostly in the region of Bengal (comprising Bangladesh and Indian West Bengal).
It is part of an elaborate series of celebrations constituting the Bengali wedding. The gaye holud takes place one or two days prior to the religious and legal wedding ceremonies.
For the bride's gaye holud, the groom's family - minus the groom himself - go in procession to the bride's home. They carry with them the bride's wedding outfit, wedding decorations including the turmeric paste (Bengali: holud) and henna (Bengali: mehedi/mendi), sweets and gifts.
They also often bring fresh fish dressed as a wedding couple, or desserts molded to resemble fish. The procession traditionally centers on the bride's (younger) female relatives and friends, who traditionally dress in matching clothes. The bride, her attendees, and all the guests traditionally wear red, yellow, orange, or green clothing. The guests then enjoy a feast arranged by the bride's family.
The bride is seated on a dais, and the henna is used to decorate the her hands and feet with elaborate abstract designs. The turmeric paste is applied by the guests to her face and body. This is said to soften the skin, but also colours her skin with the distinctive yellow hue that gives its name to this ceremony. The sweets are then fed to the bride by all involved, piece by piece. There is, of course, a feast for the guests.
The groom's family members often bring fish decorated as a wedding couple to the bride's gaye holud.
The groom's gaye holud comes next, and has the same form as the bridal ceremony. In this program the bride does not participate. The groom is accompanied by his younger male relatives and friends, and as with the bride's ceremony, the guests traditionally wear red, yellow, green, or orange. The bride's family brings the gifts for the groom (usually the wedding outfit and some cosmetics) to his house. The guests exchange sweets with and apply turmeric paste to the groom, and a feast is arranged for the guests from the bride's family.
Although similar ceremonies exist in other parts of the Indian subcontinent, the gaye holud is a custom particular to the Bengali people. It is not considered a religious function, as it is celebrated by both Muslims and Hindus in both Bangladesh and Indian West Bengal. It is not considered a part of the marriage ceremony, as there is no legal marriage performed during the gaye holud.
The bride is seated on a dais, and the henna is used to decorate the her hands and feet with elaborate abstract designs. The turmeric paste is applied by the guests to her face and body. This is said to soften the skin, but also colours her skin with the distinctive yellow hue that gives its name to this ceremony. The sweets are then fed to the bride by all involved, piece by piece. There is, of course, a feast for the guests.
The groom's family members often bring fish decorated as a wedding couple to the bride's gaye holud.
The groom's gaye holud comes next, and has the same form as the bridal ceremony. In this program the bride does not participate. The groom is accompanied by his younger male relatives and friends, and as with the bride's ceremony, the guests traditionally wear red, yellow, green, or orange. The bride's family brings the gifts for the groom (usually the wedding outfit and some cosmetics) to his house. The guests exchange sweets with and apply turmeric paste to the groom, and a feast is arranged for the guests from the bride's family.
Although similar ceremonies exist in other parts of the Indian subcontinent, the gaye holud is a custom particular to the Bengali people. It is not considered a religious function, as it is celebrated by both Muslims and Hindus in both Bangladesh and Indian West Bengal. It is not considered a part of the marriage ceremony, as there is no legal marriage performed during the gaye holud.
The groom's family members often bring fish decorated as a wedding couple to the bride's gaye holud.Wedding ceremony
The wedding ceremony (Bengali: bibaho/bie) follows the gaye holud ceremonies. As the wedding ceremony is arranged by the bride's family, much of the traditions revolve around embarrassing the groom. The groom, along with his friends and family, traditionally arrive later than the bride's side. As they arrive, the younger members of the bride's family barricade the entrance to the venue, demanding money from the groom in return for allowing him to enter. There is a bargaining between groom and the bride's family members on the amount of money of the admission. There is typically much good-natured pushing and shoving involved. Another custom is for the bride's younger siblings, friends, and cousins to conceal the groom's shoes for money; to get them back the groom must usually pay off the children. Siblings, friends and cousins also plays many practical jokes on the groom.
For a Muslim wedding, the bride and groom are seated separately, and a kazi (person authorized by the government to perform the wedding), accompanied by the parents and a witness (Bengali: wakil) from each side formally asks the bride for her consent to the union, and then the groom for his.
For a Hindu wedding, a priest asks the couple to chant mantras from the holy texts that formalises the following:
Kanyadaan (Bengali: konnadan lit. "giving the bride"): the ceremonial giving away of the bride by the father of the bride
Saat Phera (The couple walks round the ceremonial fire seven times.)
The actual formalizing of the wedding and the signing of paperwork is now done before the ceremony for convenience. Usually it is carried out on the morning of the wedding and the feast is at night.
At this time, for Muslim weddings, the amount of the dowry or mahr is verified, and if all is well, the formal papers are signed, and the couple are seated side by side on a dais. The bride's veil (Bengali: orna/ghomṭa) is draped over both the bride and groom, and a mirror is placed in front of them. The groom is then supposed to say something romantic on what he sees in the mirror—notionally the first time he has laid eyes on his bride. A traditional answer is to say that he has seen the moon. The bride and groom then feed each other sweets, while the bride's family members try to push the groom's face into the food. All the guests then celebrate the union with a feast.
In Hindu marriages on the day of the marriage (after wedding ceremony is over), close friends and relatives remain awake for the entire night. This is called the Basor Raat. Generally the day on which wedding is held Basor Raat starts after midnight if the wedding ceremony is over by evening. Most Hindu Bengali marriages happen in the evening. The next day, preferably before noon, the couple make their way from the venue to the groom's home, where a bridal room has been prepared.
At this time, for Muslim weddings, the amount of the dowry or mahr is verified, and if all is well, the formal papers are signed, and the couple are seated side by side on a dais. The bride's veil (Bengali: orna/ghomṭa) is draped over both the bride and groom, and a mirror is placed in front of them. The groom is then supposed to say something romantic on what he sees in the mirror—notionally the first time he has laid eyes on his bride. A traditional answer is to say that he has seen the moon. The bride and groom then feed each other sweets, while the bride's family members try to push the groom's face into the food. All the guests then celebrate the union with a feast.
In Hindu marriages on the day of the marriage (after wedding ceremony is over), close friends and relatives remain awake for the entire night. This is called the Basor Raat. Generally the day on which wedding is held Basor Raat starts after midnight if the wedding ceremony is over by evening. Most Hindu Bengali marriages happen in the evening. The next day, preferably before noon, the couple make their way from the venue to the groom's home, where a bridal room has been prepared.
Reception
The reception, also known as the bou bhat (lit. "bride feast") or walima among Muslims, is a party given by the groom's family in return for the wedding ceremony. It is generally a much more relaxed affair, with only the second-best wedding outfit being worn.
Unlike in the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom act as a couple at the reception; the bride and groom arrive together, receive and see off guests together, and dine together. After the party, the bride and groom go to the bride's family house for two nights. On the second day, the groom's family are invited to the bride's house for a meal, and they leave with the bride and groom. This meal is called firani.
Flower bed ceremony
In the flower bed ceremony (Bengali: ful shôjja, lit. "flower bed"), the bride wears a lot of floral ornaments and their marriage bed is decorated with flowers by the groom's family. This is the night of consummation. In Muslim marriages, this takes place on the night of the wedding. In Hindu marriages, this takes place on the night of the reception.
The reception, also known as the bou bhat (lit. "bride feast") or walima among Muslims, is a party given by the groom's family in return for the wedding ceremony. It is generally a much more relaxed affair, with only the second-best wedding outfit being worn.
Unlike in the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom act as a couple at the reception; the bride and groom arrive together, receive and see off guests together, and dine together. After the party, the bride and groom go to the bride's family house for two nights. On the second day, the groom's family are invited to the bride's house for a meal, and they leave with the bride and groom. This meal is called firani.
Flower bed ceremony
In the flower bed ceremony (Bengali: ful shôjja, lit. "flower bed"), the bride wears a lot of floral ornaments and their marriage bed is decorated with flowers by the groom's family. This is the night of consummation. In Muslim marriages, this takes place on the night of the wedding. In Hindu marriages, this takes place on the night of the reception.
(From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)
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